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Why Dogs?

Isaiah pointed out the economic handicap dogs impose on those who they belong to:

Isaiah 56:11 The dogs have a mighty appetite; they never have enough. The shepherds also have no understanding; they have all turned to their own way, each to his own gain, one and all.

Job 41:5 Will you play with him as with a bird, or will you put him on leash for your maidens?

But it seems that, to a rather limited extent, selectively-barking watchdogs, guide dogs for the blind, sniffers for criminal-catchers, attack dogs for the police, cattle-and-sheep-herders, and circus or show dogs winning prizes, do have some value to make up for it:

Isaiah 56:10 His watchmen are blind, they are all without knowledge; they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; dreaming, lying down, loving to slumber.

Perhaps why increasing numbers of increasingly evil persons love and have and walk dogs (instead of frequently-vomiting, hair-ball-urping, sometimes-pissing-and-pooping-outside-the-cat-litter felines) is because the defiant and rebellious crave exhibiting their hostility (against God and His non-violent saints who love peace and quiet) in the form of bothersome and irritating canines aptly described as noxious deplorables throughout Scripture:

Job 30:1 But now they make sport of me, men who are younger than I, whose fathers I would have disdained to set with the dogs of my flock.

Psalm 22:16 Yes, dogs are round about me; a company of evildoers encircle me; they have pierced my hands and feet.

Matthew 7:6 Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them under foot and turn to attack you.

Matthew 15:26 And He answered: "It is not fair to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs."

Philippians 3:2 Look out for the dogs, look out for the evil-workers, look out for those who mutilate the flesh.

Whether yippy-yappy, mischievous, tripping-hazard, pseudo-"cute" puppies . . . or pit-bull-type attack dogs like wolves . . . such soul-less, whining/growling/barking, pissy-and-poopy, shedding-hair-on-the-carpet, harassive creatures will thankfully be totally absent in Heaven -- no matter how keenly discriminating they sensorally now are in so selectively responding with what almost appears as human emotions:

Revelation 22:15 Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and fornicators and murderers and idolaters, and every one who loves and practices falsehood.

. . . while here on Earth, dogs have the well-deserved reputation of being scavengers and blood-suckers:

First Kings 14:11 Any one belonging to Jeroboam who dies in the city the dogs shall eat; and any one who dies in the open country the birds of the air shall eat; for the LORD has spoken it.
First Kings 16:4 Any one belonging to Baasha who dies in the city the dogs shall eat; and any one of his who dies in the field the birds of the air shall eat.

First Kings 21:19 And you shall say to him: 'Thus says the LORD: "Have you killed, and also taken possession?"' And you shall say to him: 'Thus says the LORD: "In the place where dogs licked up the blood of Naboth shall dogs lick your own blood."'"

First Kings 21:23 And of Jezebel the LORD also said: 'The dogs shall eat Jezebel within the bounds of Jezreel.'
First Kings 21:24 Anyone belonging to Ahab who dies in the city the dogs shall eat; and anyone of his who dies in the open country the birds of the air shall eat.

So why do the wicked crave harassing their neighbors with yappy-yelping barky canines, lifting hind legs at hydrants and trees, and squatting down wherever to defecate (defiling the Earth according to Deuteronomy 23:13)?

Why do they, as subtle anti-social bullyboy and bullygirl wimps and cowards unwilling to defend themselves by themselves, implicitly threaten non-dog-sporting people around them with the assaultive "sic-'em" potential of their sometimes-snarling teeth-baring dogs in the name of self-protection?

Why do dog owners over-busy themselves and needlessly make their lives more complex and stressful wasting precious time and energy selfishly dorking around with dogs when they could instead be creatively contributing something useful and long-lasting to society in general?

Must they enslave themselves to dog routine to let their dogs force them to get themselves off their duffs to do daily walking exercise outdoors?

(1) Dogs, unlike children, can be quasi-abusively and covertly restrained, confined, and punished without the ability of the dogs themselves to verbally disclose whatever possible or degrees of mistreatment to those unable to understand dog utterances.

(2) Dogs, unlike children, are disposable, and can legally be "put to sleep" without recrimination, and do not require elaborate burial and funeral expenditures.

(3) Dogs do not require the tedium of dictionary-vocabulary training, nor the pricey cost of high-school and particularly college training, and cannot be considered truant for not attending school.

(4) Dogs, unlike older children, cannot talk back to you, do not swear profanity nor vulgarity, and never respond with nor initiate sarcastic remarks. They never stab nor shoot nor explode you with bombs. They do not pollute with intrusive non-solicited sound waves consisting of the constant commercial-establishments barrage of background erotic-feminist singing noise nor big-bass-speakers boom-booms imposed by show-off nigroid in fancy cars.

(5) Dogs, unlike children, do not require ever-changing and increasingly-expensive clothing wardrobe, including diapers or tampons or sanitary napkins - being that they freely roam around completely nude in public with impunity.

(6) Killing a dog (even a police dog, often misnamed: "officers") is neither execution nor murder, in contrast to terminating children or larger humans; it is simply called: "killing."

(7) Dogs, unlike children, do not have free wills and operate merely on rather-predictable instinct in response to environmental stimuli; they do not get hooked on narcotics, do not smoke, do not get drunk, do not spray-paint obscene graffiti on walls, and never fornicate, adulterize, nor sodomize as to punishable-by-law immoral infractions.

(8) Dogs, unlike children, do not require use of pregnancy preventers by and inside anti-conception planned-parentlessness humans nor pregnancy in humans for canine reproduction nor dog-coming-out-of-the-mouth-of-the-womb childbirth-equivalence by humans (see RSV's Hosea 13:13); they come already made. As a very-liberal paraphrase of Job 11:12 in the Old Testament puts it: "But a stupid human will get understanding, when a bitch's pup is born a man."

(9) Dogs give their owners a feeling of superiority dominating them and their movements by quasi-tyrannically tugging on their necks with a leash (such is typically not done pertaining to children), and dogs are amusing moving objects so dependent upon their owners for food and water provisions while providing sensual (if not quasi-sexual) gratification to and for their owners who affectionately fondle and caress them with semi-erotic tactile-stimulation borderline-bestiality petting (violating Leviticus 18:23). The titillative wagging tail swinging back and forth when owners and their dogs encounter each other satisfies a subconscious longing inside nearly-animal-worshipping owners to see the quasi-equivalence of an excited penis wildly responsive without the disappointing and boring lethargy of erectile-dysfunctional limpid flaccidity so common nowadays among porn-saturated overly-masturbated humans.

(10) Although getting more and more expensive, the variety of menu for dogs is much less than is required for children, and dogs do not have the extensive plethora of medical problems and profoundly-costly treatments children get.

(11) Dog owners do not have to train morality in dogs, in contrast to children, which appeals to those who would make themselves uncomfortable getting themselves (of necessity and by default) involved with obligations to the source of morality (e.g. the Bible and righteous Creator thereof).

(12) Getting a dog for superficial and limited-potential companionship instead of getting married to an opposite-gender human and going through the elaborate cycle of pregnancy and childbirth, and all that accompanies that, is a way for the wicked to raise their 3rd finger and thumb their nose against God's command to: "Be fruitful and multiply" (in Genesis) and "Have the younger women marry and bear children" (First Timothy 2 and 5) allowing proxy support for homosexuality, feminist sexism, abortion homicide as a choice and NOT a "right," brainwashing themselves and others with the anti-creationist non-scientific heretical myth of evolution, etc.